Thursday, December 18, 2008

the urn and all that

How I feel: If I Fell by The Beatles

Today I'm meeting my brother at the Central Station at noon. We are going back home to bury her ashes. I am feeling very strange about it, it is the last funeral-related (or what ever to call it) thing we'll have to do.

Yesterday I was hit by this overwhelming wave of sadness.
It's been years since I moved out so I wasn't used to having her in my everyday life at all. It's the little things, really.. the moments where I might have wanted to call her to ask her one of those 'mom-questions' about laundry or cooking, to tell her that I passed an exam or that I bought a new hat.
I am becoming increasingly scared that the day may come when I no longer remember her voice, the way she smelled and what an amazingly good person she was. I constantly think of things I didn't get to tell her, questions I didn't get to ask, secrets I never got to share.
The fact that I, one day, may have kids of my own who will never have had the chance of getting to know her, saddens me.

I hope I will never forget

Q: which song(s) makes you cry/sad?