Saturday, January 31, 2009

return to cynicism

I have a bubble.
A bubble in which I have been spending a lot of time lately.

Where good-heartedness and naiveté pays off in the end.
Where truly good intentions exist.
Where lying on a hard wood floor, listening to music makes everything better.
Where day is night and night is day.

It's time to snap out of it. It's just a bubble after all.
I'll miss it though.

(Today is... Dream On by Depeche Mode)

Friday, January 30, 2009



So I finally framed that album cover...

And I bought these..

Oh, and laughed at this... (beside empty cans of laughing gas!!)

Also, I fell in love with this (song and video, both)

Hope that you are all well.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Monday, January 26, 2009

'd' is for dilemma.

To share or not to share?

Hmm, ever since I wrote yesterday's blog post I've been very close to deleting it several times. The second part of that post was extremely personal. Maybe too personal. I don't know.
Sometimes I just get this need to write things like that down. It's a way of dealing with everything, I guess.

This was originally a very long blog post on the complexity of choice of career, education, job and all that jazz. About choices in life in general. Something that has been occupying my mind a lot lately.
However, since writing that just left me even more confused on the matter I decided to delete it. Following sentence is what remains of that post, make of it what you want...

There are two things I don't want in life: the colour beige and the word nice.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

cohen and regrets

It's funny, when I have nothing to write about I always post random junk like this.

I want this...

I really do.


One year ago, on the 18th of January 2008 to be exact, I found out that she was sick.
It took less than a year.
One year.

I remember that my dad was the one who picked up the phone. He normally never did that. At that moment I knew that something wasn't right.
I made that call on a Friday.
Sunday I went to Budapest for a week. I still feel so, so bad about the fact that I did that. I should have stayed at home with her and the rest of my family.
Of course I should.

It was all so unreal. It still is.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

dance, dance, dance, with me...

How can you not love charity shops? Today I went vinyl hunting in my home town and ended up picking up a lot of 80s crappiness (which I love). However, that is not what I wanted to share with you today.

I found this old German record which has what is possibly the best cover art I have ever seen. Seriously, how great is this...

I love everything about it.

The title Tanz, Tanz, Tanz, Mit Mir translates to Dance, Dance, Dance, With Me.
I am going to get a frame for this and hang it on my wall (since the music on it is absolutely terrible).

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

a mind that wanders (i have)

I'm writing this whilst sitting on the train, passing through small towns in which I could never see my future self reside...

Having picked up my crappy latte at the 7eleven closest to the station from which today's journey started, I decided that today I would use the time of my upcoming one-hour train ride wisely. And by wisely I mean writing a, by my standards, quite long blog post on people and public transportation.

I will not be writing about the old lady who entered the bus shortly after me and for whom nobody bothered to give up their seat, the three 15-year-olds sitting in the very back of the same bus listening to some r'n'b tune out loud on one of their mobiles nor will I write about the old man who desperately tried to hide his 11am drunkenness in ways that were only too obvious. No, I will not be writing about these typical moments that one always seem to encounter when venturing out into the jungle that is public transportation.

Instead, I will try to capture this one short moment that I experienced, which somehow triggered a small train of thoughts. It did not last for long, but somehow it left me with this feeling of... hope, perhaps?

On the previously mentioned bus I just happened to end up sitting next to 'the scribbling boy'. Actually, I doubt that he should even be referred to as a 'boy' since he was about my own age, that was just the name that instantly popped in to my mind when I saw him. Because that was exactly what he did, scribble. And he wasn't just scribbling on a random piece of paper or some cheap calender or notebook. No, he was doing his scribbling in a black Moleskine notebook. Yes, my dear reader, people like that do actually still exist.

See, we are actually talking about a medium sized notebook here, and I think that he managed to write two full pages or so while I sat next to him, which couldn't have been more than about ten minutes. Oh, I would have given anything to get to read those pages. I tried to sneak a peek but it was just impossible to do so without seeming overly creepy.

I can't seem to stop thinking about people like that. I wonder if this guy had an entire collection of black Moleskines at home with every single page filled from top to bottom with thoughts, memories, stories, poetry... words. The art of scribblery in all its wondrous forms and shapes.

People don't scribble any more, at least not the people I know. I do scribble sometimes, but not in the intense way that this guy did, 'the scribbling boy'.

I blame technology.

No. Blogging does not count as proper scribblery in case you were wondering.

Monday, January 19, 2009

eye infections are sexy.

except, they're not.

(admit it, when you read the title you were secretly hoping that there would be a picture)

Thursday, January 15, 2009


These may be hard times for dreamers but all in all, I think we are doing quite alright.

Monday, January 12, 2009

s-s-shake it!

Is there any greater joy than that of finding an old hat that you thought had gone missing?

(Fact of the day: yellow tights are not as great as you may think. They make you look as if you suffer from some disease that makes your skin go yellow. Not cool. Yes, I am wearing yellow tights at this very moment.)

Oh, and poladroid rocks by the way. Go check it out. Now.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

the making of..

My niece made this heart out of some plastic beads and gave it to me on my birthday in December. So in theory I basically collab'ed with a 4-year-old on this one...

I placed a fridge magnet with the word 'love' on it on top of the heart, and took this photo...

I imported the two images above into Sony Vegas. Using 3 layers/video tracks, I played around with the masking tool a bit, then adjusted the contrast, brightness and colour balance in order to make the heart fade in and out and gain its red colour in the end. I finished off by chopping Moby's 'Porcelain' into pieces and adding it to the soundtrack.

This is the result:

Saturday, January 10, 2009

i like short blog posts these days

'Fellas, coincidence and fate figures largely in our lives.' (lame Twin Peaks quote that got me thinking)

The idea that our lives are in one way or another predestined, the belief that some sort of power which predetermines the events in our lives exists.

I don't believe in fate (at least I don't think I do).

I believe in coincidences and in choices. I believe that we shape our own lives via the choices we make, however peripheral they may seem at the time. Coincidences can be seen as a result of our choices, I suppose.

It should be quite simple really, life.

P.S. I feel like travelling.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


the feeling

my whole body aches
black spots before my eyes
heavy and deep breaths
like weeping
but not a single tear will show

a few uncontrollable moments. then it's gone

Monday, January 5, 2009

new year's resolutions?

a list

exercise less
gain weight
drink more alcohol
start doing some drugsss
use the internet more
spend more money
start smoking (everything)
give less to charity

there, that should be fairly easy.

(Yes, I did indeed wear a pig-hat on New Year's Eve.)

Friday, January 2, 2009

more stolen goods

Explanation, please?

If what you want and what you need happens to be the same thing, then what? But then again, that rarely happens, does it?