Saturday, December 27, 2008

it'll be just like starting over

I wrote a blog post earlier today, it was a few lines about how all of this holiday related family stuff was starting to drive me slightly insane.
What was I thinking? I am so lucky to have these wonderful people in my life, and I should appreciate every single moment that I get to spend with them.
Have the events of this past month taught me nothing?!

This December has been more surreal than usual, an emotional roller coaster ride of extreme dimensions... Being in the same room as your mother as she takes her last breath, asking the one who loves you to leave for good. Those are not easy things to cope with and honestly I haven't quite experienced anything like this before in my life, I have no clue what my reaction to all of this will be. In a way it feels as if I am watching my own life from a distance.
Someone told me that the sadness will come in waves, which is true.. the first wave was rather small. I'm certain, however, that the bigger ones are yet to come.

I am looking forward to a new start in 2009. Surely, the events of this year that has passed will haunt me in the years to come, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. The losses experienced, the mistakes and choices made will most likely shape my future in ways I can't possibly begin to imagine.

I feel that this coming year will be one of great changes in this little life of mine.


Shaelan said...

*singsong voice*


Rosequirk2789 said...

Very well written. I hope 2009 brings a little bit of joy.